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Help! I have a Mary Sue!

Journal Entry: Fri Nov 8, 2013, 8:30 AM
You know that you have a Mary Sue when she upsets the monochromatic color scheme of my Writer's Guides.

Mouse over blue text to see a note.

Internet communities often lash out at writers who create Mary Sues. Declaring the writing to be below their standards, they proceed to punish the creators. They mock the characters, verbally abuse the writers, and write hyperbolically about how much they wish the characters would die.

Bullying writers (who may be very young) is only going to make them afraid to write—and therefore improve—or share their work. Not only that, but it discourages other writers from speaking for fear of public mockery, and it may silence the voices that could someday become great.

If you've directly or indirectly suffered from the abuse of such individuals, let me first apologize on their behalf. I don't care if your story stinks so much that it can be smelled from fifty miles away; mocking you for it is cyberbullying. If you find people who try to hurt your self-esteem instead of offering constructive ideas, then I suggest you block them and forget about them. Unhelpful criticism is not worth your time.

Now let's take a moment to forget about cruel communities and whatever they think about your story—who cares about bullies' opinions, anyway?—and focus on what you think about it.

Mary Sue screams in horror.  She has brilliant blue hair that transitions to vibrant pink at the ends, one blue eye, and one pink eye. Her skin is ridiculously pale.

EEEEEE I think I have a Mary Sue!!!!!!

First of all, remain calm. Approaching your story in a frenzy is hardly the right thing to do, especially if you're going to reevaluate your characters and their position in your book. If you're feeling panicked, repeat these five things and take deep breaths.

1. The term Mary Sue is subjective.

2. People who tell you that your story stinks are jerks. No, I don't care if they were "trying to be helpful." They're still jerks.

3. Having an item or two on a list does not make your character a Mary Sue.
(And if it did, I would be in major trouble, and so would Mark Twain, F. Scott Fitzgerald, my best friends, probably every other writer on the planet, and God)

4. Characters can be modified.

5. Having a Mary Sue is not the end of the world.

So don't worry; you have all the time in the world to mess with your character.*
*unless you have a deadline. Then you have some of the time in the world.

If you're uncertain about what a Mary Sue is, see this piece for elaboration.

A worried Mary Sue bites her lip.

Is My OC a Mary Sue?

Your character has pink hair? Well, I guess she's a Mary Sue. But don't worry, that also makes my brutish, duty-driven, amoral villain Bruk a Mary Sue. You see, he was genetically engineered by an alien who didn't really know what he was doing. Bruk hates his hair. I gave it to him because (a) I wanted to make a commentary on the cultural expectation of masculinity and the resulting social pressures, (b) my audience would enjoy it, and (c) I wanted to laugh at him. (Or maybe I just wanted to laugh at him. I don't really remember.)

I'm not going to give you a list of unacceptable hair colors or limits on numbers of talents a character may possess. My guess is that you've already heard plenty about that. Besides, do you really think my Bruk is a Mary Sue? (Hint: He's low on the suspect list.)

Things such as hair color and singing voice can certainly call attention when they start to pile on, but they are only symptoms of underlying behaviors that truly define a Mary Sue. Let's take a deeper look at these.
  • Do all the interesting things in my story happen to this one character, or is (s)he guaranteed to be involved in anything significant to the plot?
  • Do I give my character traits or a history to try to make him/her "special" or draw attention to him/her?
  • Is my character flawless or a perfect example?
  • Do I consider my character superior?

A police officer handcuffs a criminal while Mary Sue watches. The officer says ''Go home, Mary Sue. This doesn't involve you,'' and Mary Sue replies, ''Of course it does! I'm the protagonist!''

My character is involved in every interesting event.

If your character is the main character, it's natural for him/her to be present when important things are happening. The story is focused on your character, after all!

However, sometimes things can grow a little out of hand. Your character becomes present all the time (even when his/her presence isn't needed), and your character's business is the only business that matters. When the female supporting character gets a secret love letter from her crush, she spends a few lines wondering about it before the main character's issues become the main topic of conversation. Your character's mentors have no lives outside of helping your character. Your character shows up at council meetings discussing the fate of the universe, even if she is a fifteen-year-old girl whose only credentials are her interest and her stellar grades at school, and they don't escort her out of the building as soon as they see her or call her parents if she tries again. Do any of these situations sound vaguely familiar?

Neva, the token Latina, holds a pink piece of paper shaped like a heart. Excited, she exclaims, ''I think this is from Amy!'' Ignoring her, Mary Sue looks away and says, ''The hot guy is back!''

Take a moment to consider whether the plot serves your plans or your character. In fact, a moment might be too short. I'd recommend a week of rereading your story, scene by scene, and asking yourself these two key questions:

~Does other characters' business get much screen time, or does your character and his/her business constantly steal the show?

~Do important things constantly become your character's business (and no one thinks this is strange)?

Let me use a Venn diagram to elaborate.
A Venn diagram depicts two categories: important plot-related things (on the left) and your character's business (on the right). The diagram explains that either by accident or by choice, some important things are likely to happen without your character.
Note: definitions of important to the plot and not important to the plot will vary depending on your type of plot; the examples in your story's Venn diagram may be in different places.

If your character is one of the main characters, there's naturally going to be a lot of overlap between the "important things" and "things involving my character" categories. This will especially be true if your character is the narrator.

The danger is focusing solely on that intersection—to the point at which anything not directly involving your character is dismissed. When you push other characters' affairs to the side (for example, spending no time developing the relationship between the characters' two best friends), you end up with a flat storyline and cast. Each significant relationship is between your character and someone else, and any sense of community is lost. If the other characters no longer had your character to lean on, they would probably drift around aimlessly and the plot would fall apart.

Because anything not involving your character is dismissed, your character needs to be present at any event of significance, even if it wouldn't make sense. These events can sound contrived, like the author pulled as many ropes as possible to make sure that the favored character would be there. Readers will pick up on that.

The bottom line: if you're focusing too much on the intersection of the Venn diagram, you can relax! Keep in mind that your readers will want to like your supporting characters too. They might be excited to guess who sent Neva the love note and watch her try to gather the courage to talk to her crush. Find the qualities that you love and identify with in other characters, and try spending time developing those too. And don't worry—even if we have to follow your character's mentor or the noble police officer to the Bicentennial Mystic Gathering of Awesomeness, we'll still be paying attention when the huge fire demon appears.

Mary Sue, an unusual-looking girl, is surrounded by her relatively boring peers. Mary Sue's coloring defies the laws of genetics, and for some reason she isn't wearing the school uniform.

My character is extra unusual.

I'll close my eyes, take a moment to read your mind, and say that there is a very strong chance that your character is unusual. Why? Well, unusual characters are more likely to do things worth telling in a story. (And if you consider your character to be completely normal, you probably don't feel the need to read this, do you?)

Many stories follow unusual characters—often the character has something special about him/her that helps solve the problem of the story. That's pretty typical. However, if you make your character so unusual that everyone has to notice, he or she might be a victim of Princess Rose Syndrome.

Princess Rose Syndrome is a name I invented for a common Mary Sue trait. It's named after my little sister's character (a toy used when I babysit her). Princess Rose has many quirks: she sleepwalks, she occasionally forgets to brush her hair, she gets a lot of random nightmares, she heroically leaps into fights that she always loses, and before she was married, her boyfriends would constantly break up with her for no real reason.

But wait. Princess Rose is a Mary Sue? These traits seem completely random! Forgetting to brush her hair? That's not on any litmus tests. Is there some other secret list that was never available online?

The truth is that any trait can be considered a Mary Sue trait... if it's being used as a device to draw attention to the character. Princess Rose forgets to brush her hair because Katie wants another character to come brush it for her. When she has yet another bad dream and whisper-shouts "Mom! Dad!" or "Maddy! Maddy!", she wants someone to come running to comfort her and listen to her retell her dream four or five times. And when she battles the bandit to try (and always fail) to save Teddy Bear, someone must rescue her.

Most of Princess Rose's personality traits are designed to call attention to her (instead of to characterize her or move the plot). Princess Rose is something of an avatar to Katie: when Princess Rose's husband George rescues her from the river, kisses her hair, and picks out pretty clothes for her to wear, Katie feels that the attention is somehow transferred to her. Then Katie has all sorts of bad things happen to Princess Rose so that someone will come running to rescue and comfort her.

A lot of beginning writers will set up their special characters to gain attention without needing to ask for it. (That way, there's less risk of them seeming spoiled and egocentric.) When supporting characters constantly run to alleviate some pain or aid in some crisis related to the main character, the whole plot begins to twist into a black hole where everyone is drawn to the main character. This is what people usually dislike most about a Mary Sue.

I've received a lot of questions regarding certain stereotypical traits (especially unusual appearances) and if they're okay to use. There is no definite yes or no—pretty much any trait can appear in a well-written character. The main danger of these "litmus test favorites" is that they tend to attract attention to your character without adding anything useful to the story. Teen and adult readers can usually recognize this. This may make them wary of your character, since they know that "special snowflake syndrome" and author favoritism often go hand in hand. They may not be as willing to suspend their disbelief.

Here are some things that are often misused to pull attention to a character instead of to further the story's realism, plot, or theme:
  • Eye-catching/unusual appearance
  • Clumsiness
  • Depression/trauma/angst (resulting in comfort and worrying)
  • Revealing/sexy clothing (even if the character is supposedly shy)
  • Strange, gossip-inducing behavior
  • Cluelessness (that attracts a self-appointed mentor)
  • Charisma (resulting in special treatment; it may be informed)
  • Attractiveness
  • Shyness/Introversion, causing other characters to constantly push the character to interact and "have fun" more.
  • Unknown artistic talent (someone discovers your character is a piano virtuoso)

New Writer's Guide (Friday, Nov. 8th) by MissLunaRose

Do these sound familiar? They probably do—you see them all the time in litmus tests. Litmus tests try to detect trends in Mary Sues and gather them into a list.

The flaw of litmus tests is that they tend to focus on superficial aspects instead of the author's underlying motives. If a character cries all the time, it could be because the author likes to have other characters run to her and comfort her, or because the author wants to create a realistic depiction of the strain that mental illnesses can cause on a person's relationships and health. A litmus test won't differentiate. Only you, the writer, can understand your own motivations.

Characters with Princess Rose Syndrome represent a naive outlook on life: the idea that in order to get attention, you will need things to happen to you, and then everyone's ears will perk up and they'll focus on you. As Katie is slowly learning through Princess Rose, you don't need to have a bandit push you into a raging river for other people to notice you. If you're lonely, all you need to do is find someone who loves you, give them a hug, and ask if you can keep them company for a while.

And if you feel so lonely that you constantly need to live out fantasies of love and attention through your stories, then please, reach out to someone. Because you deserve to be close to good people in real life.

Mary Sue, smiling, writes on a chalkboard. The chalkboard says ''Flaws DNE.''

My character is flawless.

I'm sorry, but you can't get out of this one: If you consider your character to be perfect (or practically perfect), critics will label him/her a Mary Sue and a product of immature writing. Why? Well... come sit down on my fuzzy blue rug and I'll read you a story.

Of all the martial arts masters in America, Jodie was the finest. Quick and powerful, her skill was exceeded only by her kindness and intelligence. Nothing scared her, and she was known for beating ninja armies while other martial arts masters cowered in awe. Being a computer genius and a generous person, she angelically donated most of her income to starving orphans and bought a mansion with her spare change. She also babysat the mayor's precocious four-year-old daughter, who adored her and wanted to be Jodie when she grew up.

One day, Jodie heard that the child was kidnapped. (Please pause for a minute and predict how this story will end. Can Jodie save the girl?) She used her amazing computer skills to find the evil kidnappers. Then she soundlessly stalked to the kidnappers' hiding place, kicked their butts in 10 seconds flat, and returned the girl to her parents, who wept with joy at Jodie's kindness and awesomeness.

Remember when I asked you to predict the ending of the story? Did you doubt for a second that Jodie would fail?

I was getting pretty bored by the time she rescued the girl. It was clear that someone as awesome as Jodie couldn't possibly lose, so my eyes kind of glazed over near the end. I would have put the book down and made myself a turkey sandwich, but I had to finish writing it as an example.

If your character is the epitome of perfection, then the battle is already won. So who cares? Lunch (and all the chocolate you can have for dessert afterwards) is much more interesting. Why waste your time reading when the ending is obvious?

Now I'm going to tell another story. This time, I'll cast some doubt on Jodie's abilities. I could give her all sorts of flaws: wimpiness, recklessness, plain stupidity... For the sake of brevity, I'll only discuss one flaw.

As a child, Jodie was exploring a cave system with her parents when bats swooped down around her. Terrified, Jodie ran into the woods and was lost for hours until a search team found her. Now, whenever Jodie is in the dark, she has a gnawing feeling that bats will fly at her at any time, sometimes making her panic.

This leads to several embarrassing incidents during the course of the story, and the other martial arts masters laugh at her for being so terrified. She curses herself for her weakness and stupidity, yet whenever she is in the dark, she still can hear the sound of bat wings rushing above her. Her only consolation is in her martial arts practice and in babysitting the mayor's vivacious little daughter. When Jodie overhears that the girl is being held in a cave system but will be moved to a more secure location in an hour, she is terrified to go in, but she forces herself to enter.

Bats swoop above her, and fifty yards in, Jodie freezes in fear. Fighting her growing terror, she takes a deep breath and continues shakily forwards. Finally, she hears the kidnappers talking and sees them in the cave with the little girl. Thanks to many years of martial arts training, she kicks the kidnappers' butts. Jodie picks up the child and runs out of the cave, disturbing a bunch of bats. They fly right above her head. The little girl begins to cry, and as Jodie whispers soothingly about how the bats don't want to hurt her, she realizes that she has nothing to fear.

If that was a book, would you read it? Would you recommend it to a friend?

If you keep the reader wondering if your character can meet the challenge, then your reader is much more likely to stay glued to the book. Is Jodie capable of rescuing the sweet little girl? What if she dies? What if Jodie is too scared or weak to save her? Suddenly it's 3 pm and your reader, unable to put off eating any longer, brings the book to the table and distractedly makes a turkey sandwich, all while reading nonstop to see if Jodie can beat the bad guys.

When Jodie's weaknesses make a task challenging for her, her victory is all the more monumental. This was no everyday accomplishment for her; she faced a situation that was downright terrifying for her and she won the battle!

Furthermore, Jodie's imperfections make it easier for readers to relate to her. Most of your readers probably aren't afraid of the dark or of bats, but they all have their flaws that they are struggling to overcome. Maybe one of them is scared of the thunderstorms. Or a bully. I personally am terrified of that feeling when you look in the cabinet and see there is no chocolate left.

They can relate to Jodie's fear and struggle for self-improvement, because they face these things in their own lives. When Jodie succeeds, they can vicariously enjoy that success and pump their fists in the air. It may even inspire them to challenge themselves the way she challenged herself. For example, Jodie's tale could give me the strength I need to take ten bucks, steal my dad's car, drive to the grocery store, and buy some more chocolate! (Okay, bad example. Imagine the timid reader remembering how Jodie overcame her fears and telling that bully that his racist comments are unwanted and rude.)

Perfect characters are boring, because they never need to struggle to get what they want. So give us some suspense! Let us wonder if your characters are up to the challenge! I promise we can take it. We just might forget to put the turkey in our sandwiches.

Mary Sue brandishes an enormous contraption filled with spikes and ray guns. She has written Death and a pink heart on its side. She points it at a vampire, who mutters, ''I died just by looking at you.''

My character is superior.

I imagine that there will be some confusion here, so let me define what I mean by superior. We'll call your character "superior" if:

1. Given his/her age, education, or other limiting factors, the character is mind-blowingly talented. (A twelve-year-old girl can easily do magical spells that are too complex for most experienced adults.)

2. Your character's combined talents are much more than other characters' talents. (She can pilot a ship through the tightest squeezes, repair all sorts of broken machinery without opening a manual, beat up five men at once, and cook delicious food. One friend is more skilled with machines, but she has no other talents. Another friend is a great chef with some medical knowledge, but these are his only strengths.)

3. Nobody can do what your character does. (Your character is the best cello player in the whole world.)

Case 1:

I want you to stop and think for a moment. Talented people exist, and it's not a sin to make your character talented. But let's run through some numbers for a moment.

Could 10% of the people with the same limitation (age, education, whatever) do this? If so, your character is skilled and hopefully his/her parents or mentors coaxed him/her to develop these skills if your character was interested in them. I bet they were very proud.

Could 5% of those people do so? If so, your character is something. If the skill was intellectual, your character was probably the smartest person in his/her grade as a small child, and he/she probably didn't have to work very hard in school until they sorted out the "advanced" students into harder classes.

Now, could only 1% of those people do what your character does? If so, then your character is most likely some sort of genius. Geniuses do show up in real life—I heard of a twelve-year-old kid at my old high school who will be learning calculus next year—and while they often forget that everyone else is not nearly as skilled in a particular area as they are, they can still operate within the real world. They can also earn high salaries in their fields.

However, if only .00001% of the people with the same limitations can do what your character can do, you'd need to have one heck of an excuse for it. Many readers will have a hard time believing that a character like yours can do the things he/she does, which creates unnecessary tension in their minds. Here are your options.

1. Ignore me and blitz off into the sunset with your professional thirteen-year-old computer programmer.

2. Change your character's limitations. Suddenly your thirteen-year-old becomes an eighteen-year-old. People might still raise their eyebrows when he says that he can dismantle the foreigners' complex computerized bomb, but the reader will bet on him. A genius eighteen-year-old, after all, could probably do that, and nobody will think he secretly had his mom do it for him.

3. If you're working in a fantasy world, change the limitations. Maybe all preteen children in your universe are writing their own semi-sophisticated computer programs, while your character is smart enough to write very complex ones.

4. Make your character less skilled. Could a highly intelligent, dedicated thirteen-year-old boy create a computer program? Probably, especially if he had plenty of reference books and websites handy. And believe me, his parents will still be very proud.

Mary Sue stands on top of an enormous pedestal marked with a sigma. She smiles and waves down at Neva and the hot guy, who stand on much shorter pedestals. Neva, wide-eyed, slowly waves back at her.

Case 2:

It seems you have a jack-of-all-trades: a character who has many talents. That's not too surprising. In fact, I have many skills too! Let me share them with you.

My Interests: writing, drawing, playing piano, playing flute, speaking Spanish, playing recorder, acing tests, singing, babysitting, getting my teachers to like me

In fact, I'm even at a special advantage: watching TV and going to parties are not included. While my peers were watching Hannah Montana, I was drafting my first novel. When other teens went out to party, I stayed at home painting a pink light over Kirrah's face. Essentially, I had no social life.

So all this practice time must make me an incredibly amazing person, right? I should be just like that pilot/warrior/mechanic/chef.

Actually, the piano thing is just a hobby. I've been practicing less to make time for writing, drawing, and acing tests. I can't even play much Debussy yet. I'm a decent flutist, but I'm only in the top 75% at my school, and I've touched my recorder about 10 times in the past five years. I can get my teachers to like me, and my misanthropic art teacher sorta-semi liked me on her good days, but my English teacher still gave me Bs on half my essays.

As I've hopefully been able to illustrate, it's quite possible to have a lot of "talents," especially if your character loves to try new things. However, as your character gets older and more skilled, he or she will have to choose between skills and ultimately excel in one or two. (I practice writing and drawing the most. Things like piano are hobbies. Things like brown-nosing are life skills.)

Furthermore, your character's sum total of skills is probably not going to be overwhelmingly greater than other characters'. Why not? Take me for example again: I can write better fiction than my friend writes. However, when we discuss the media, she can give much more powerful and convincing arguments on the media's portrayal of females, while I say "What is this 'Steven Cole-bear' of which you speak?" Her Spanish vocabulary is also larger than mine, she has more friends right now than I'll have in my entire life, and she can give detailed analyses of TV shows that I have never seen. If not for my incredibly blinding awesomeness that exceeds mortal measures, I'd have to say that our skill levels across all fields are approximately equal.

Of course, no two people are exactly equal in skill: an intelligent woman who learns quickly and excels in time management is going to be more skilled overall than a high school dropout who watches sitcoms and smokes illegal substances all day while vaguely wondering what he'll do when his unemployment insurance ends. However, if you have several motivated characters, and yet one of them is constantly more prepared in many varied situations, you have to start wondering if this is even possible. Besides, there are only 24 hours in a day, and everyone needs downtime. While I may be blindingly awesome, I still spend time reading webcomics and chatting with my parents.

So if you're tempted to make your character a human Swiss army knife, pause for a moment. How did your character get such an advantage? Is it too much of an advantage? (A childhood full of rigorous practice and no playtime is likely to result in depression and burnout instead of superhuman awesomeness.) You can always hand off important skills to your character's friends, too, to spread them more evenly throughout the team. Maybe she can expertly pilot ships and kick butts, but she leaves the mechanics and cooking to her two best friends.

Besides, when the main character can't do everything, it's so much more deliciously frightening when things (s)he holds dear are at stake. (Remember Jodie?) Then we authors are capable of so much more eeevil.

Mary Sue rolls her eyes and exclaims, ''I can't HELP being the prettiest girl in the school!'' Neva watches Amy walk past and thinks ''Amy is the hottest girl I've ever seen...''

Case 3:

I hear that your character is the smartest person on planet Earth. Well, this might be difficult for you, but did you just see which character I placed on the planet? Yes, that woman there. Well, she is smarter than your character.

Oh, and that man I placed next to her? He's her husband. He's not quite as smart as she is, but believe me, he's still smarter than your character. Oh, and so is his younger sister, whom I placed over there. Now your character is the fourth-smartest person in the world.

So let me tell you about these new characters. The woman and her husband live in Taiwan right now. They study psychology and write helpful papers to improve school and business environments. In their spare time, they play ultimate chess together, which is like chess for supergeniuses. The younger sister earns mountains of money in the computer industry, and she made a little website where they could all play long-distance ultimate chess together.

Is this going to hurt your story?

Think about it. When your genius character realizes that the planet is in grave danger, the smartest person in the world is very busy working in Taiwan with her husband, while the third-smartest is playing long-distance ultimate chess. And if someone sends out emails to hire people for the Project of Unspeakable Importance, the programmer might be in the middle of a project for economic development in impoverished countries, while the smartest couple says, "Sorry, but that's outside our area of expertise." Believe me, that employer will still be overjoyed if your character can come.

Unless your story's theme strongly involves the idea of being the very very best, chances are your character doesn't need to be the best. If your character is incredibly talented, (s)he can still solve whatever task you need him/her to solve. There is no project so insanely difficult that only one person in the universe can solve it, and if there is, who the heck came up with it, anyway?

So if you want to edit your book and change "the absolute best" to "the famously skilled," I promise it won't hurt the plot. And your character will still be awesome.

Mary Sue changes into a more ordinary-looking girl with auburn hair and green eyes.


Are you reading this with a specific character in mind? If so, I want you to pause here. Think back on what you just read. Take a minute to jot down some notes on a sheet of paper or in a .txt document. You do not want to forget the thoughts you've had about altering your character. (I'll wait for you. I promise.)

Did you write down your thoughts? (If not, GO BACK AND WRITE THEM, YOU CHEATER!) Now reread what you wrote and consider it. Have you been making your character "ideal," or are you trying primarily to focus on him/her instead of simply telling the story? In which ways are you dissatisfied with your character?

Now ponder these questions:
  • If my character is unusually skilled, how skilled does my character really need to be? Does (s)he need to be the best, one of the best, or simply awesomely talented?
  • If I have a walking, talking Swiss army knife, which skills could be given to another character or cut out altogether without destroying my plot? Could I strengthen the story by giving a crucial skill to a character's friend (or reluctant ally)?
  • Am I trying to teach readers how to be perfect by holding up one character as a guiding light? Could I impart the same lesson by making the character flawed and then having him/her learn that lesson?
  • Which strong/attention-attracting traits are essential to my character and/or the plot? How do they add to the story?
  • Which strong/attention-attracting traits are not essential?
  • Am I neglecting characters and their relationships in favor of focusing on my special character?
  • Am I using my character as a way to feel loved?

Now, unless you answered yes to the last question, here's what I suggest doing next. (If you did answer yes, you can still do this; I just want you do do something else first.) Take however long you need to let these questions roll around in your head. Again, I'll wait while you ponder these. Go for a walk if you need to. Then come back.

Have you decided upon some preliminary revisions?


Have you done what I said?


This is your character's rebirth. You've pared away the attention-seeking and the superiority, the too-gorgeous curly hair and the clumsiness that was only meant to gain sympathy. Now you're left with a character who is not necessarily stronger, but more balanced. Your character feels more realistic, making it easier for readers to love and relate to him/her.

Take your new character and revise your book, cutting out traits of the old character and putting in traits of the new one. I know. I probably just asked you the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest in a thunderstorm while wearing a bikini. (At least, that's how I feel when editing my own book, although my amazing gorgeousness is less obvious then.)

Editing is a difficult task, but hey, remember the way Jodie felt when she entered the dark cave to save the little girl? She was terrified. She doubted she could handle it. Every step forward seemed to take an hour, and she was left floundering in the dark, knowing that any second bats might swoop around her and she would fail.

But little girl needed her, so she gritted her teeth and pressed onward. She kept walking deeper into the darkness and refused to go home. If your goal is worth it, then you too can find the strength to look the task in the eye and say, "I'll do it!" I know you can!

And now I'd like to take a moment for those who answered yes to that last question—the ones who use their characters to feel loved. Your battle is a tough one, because it's easy to be deeply attached to your character the way (s)he is. The fantasy of loving, attentive family members and friends is so alluring that it's difficult to discard. It may take a long time before you feel ready to make a change. Paring away your character's clumsiness or constant need of rescue will be difficult when those are such convenient ways to vicariously feel the love and support that others will give your character.

But look, imaginary love and support are poor substitutes for the real thing. And I think you already know that. You don't have to feel guilty for fantasies—everyone has them, including me. But if you find that they're the only way you find comfort, then please don't feel afraid to reach out. Find a kind person and share your fears or successes with him/her. Searching for caring people is not an easy or quick process, and I know that it's much easier said than done—but you deserve an ally in real life too.

It'll take time before you can shift your story's focus away from only love and comfort, and it'll take a huge conscious effort. Let that special character be independent for one time, or skip the extra recognition. Show on how your character gives love and attention to others too, or on how these other people relate to each other. Think about what makes your other characters special, and develop their love and relationships with each other too. In time, others' love of your character will become one aspect of a story full of caring, complex relationships. It may not be easy, but it is achievable, and yes, you can do it.

Neva and Amy kiss while pink hearts blossom around them. In the background, brown-haired Mary Sue smiles.

Parting Words

Identifying, troubleshooting, contemplating, and fixing a Mary Sue requires an emotional distance and discipline that cannot be achieved over a short time. You may have to focus your thoughts entirely on other characters or even let your story sit for a few months to work on something else. Moving beyond a Mary Sue is one of the most difficult tasks a writer can do, but with time and strength, you can become a champion.

Most writers struggle with Mary Sues at some point in their lives. Some of them move beyond them after a story or two. Others spend decades working with idealized or attention-seeking characters. Thanks to the notes you wrote (you did listen to me, didn't you?), you have an edge—i.e., an action plan.

I'm not going to keep you sitting here any longer. Go! Go write! Go edit! Mount Everest is as good as yours.

I stand on top of Mount Everest, grinning and wearing a pink bikini. The wind blows back my blond hair as freezing snow flies around me.

This is my first Writer's Guide with a journal skin (big text, yay!) and illustrations. :love: Many thanks go to ewm, who patiently sorted out a categorizing bug with me at the help desk so this would be possible!

As always, I have stamps for you. :)
Admit it by Kateppi Mary Sue Stamp by JeDoreStamps Mary Sue Safe Zone by MissLunaRose Mary-Sue Test is Epic Fail by ReikoChan Mary Sue Argument Stamp by guardianpinkneko

I take suggestions for additions to this resource or future Writer's Guides! While I don't always have enough knowledge or material to use them, hearing your suggestions is very interesting and thought-provoking, and who knows? Your idea may inspire a resource that helps a lot of people.

Mary Sue comics
Mary Sue Tutorial by Glittercandy is a parody describing how to make the "perfect character"

A DD!? My goodness! This is a surprise big enough to warrant multiple punctuation marks and an adorably creepy fangirl face!
Thank you so much, everyone!
There is no way I can give llamas to each person who favorites this. (If you want a llama, give one to me and I'll return it.) I have some essays to write this weekend, but I'll do my best to keep up with you all! :lol:
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-11-15
[Stock & Resources] The suggester says: "I think that this is a wonderful and humerous guideline that both new and experienced writers can use to avoid creating the dreaded "Mary Sue." Help! I have a Mary Sue! by `Luna--Rose ( Suggested by Asvoria1 and Featured by CelticStrm-Stock )
This handy little guide is great for artists and writers who wish avoid the dreaded 'Mary Sue' conundrum.

The author of this piece remains in a thoughtful but neutral position while identifying and explaining the term 'Mary Sue'. Each section provides simple advice on how to avoid turning your character into the widely hated 'Mary Sue', breaking down the common traits and giving a small explanation at the end of the section. Along with each section are colourful and well-done visuals to help depict the traits of a 'Mary Sue', and it also brings some interest into this piece with the cute style and good humor!

Even though, I wanted a bit more history on 'Mary Sue' and where the term came from, this is a great read for those who want to create a character or edit a current one. I insist on taking the time to read through this!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
169 out of 171 deviants thought this was fair.

To be blunt, I really liked this guide, and while I haven't personally worried about writing a Mary Sue for many years, I heartily approve of any helpful, appropriate guide to writing better stories and characters.

I love the little pictures; they really lend an open and accessible look to the guide, and they are all delightful little vignettes emphasizing your point. Visually, they also help to frame your sections quite well, so I gladly applaud the artist choice! Well, maybe I also happen to *like* heterochromia iridum, but that's neither here nor there!

Your tone of writing really works for me, and your word-choice in addressing the reader made me laugh a few times. Like many people, I learned writing from the ground up, either on my own or with external criticism (much of which came via the internet in the form of RP forums), and I can sympathize with your opening paragraph well. I was lucky to have a small group I could count on to give me genuine feedback, and I am quite happy to see someone making an effort to reach out to struggling or scared authors and tell them to listen for those few, helpful voices.

Not only do you provide a clear objective in helping to correct the flaws of "Mary Sue" characters, but you provide a great deal of information in crafting quality characters in general. For that reason, I really hope more people take a look at this little guide, even if the word "Mary Sue' is something they don't expect to have to worry about; not all bad characters are Sues, but your solutions are definitely the framework for making good characters. I also hope you consider writing more guides like this.

My only real complaint is that you never really lay out the definition of a "Mary Sue". You do well to explain how to fix the most pressing issues behind what makes a Sue, but you never really explain what the term means or where it originated from, and I think that is one of the only real issues for the writers who need to take a look at this guide.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
53 out of 56 deviants thought this was fair.

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Iamkatieisme Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Hi, I've been checking out your stuff here lately and you definitely seem to know what you're talking about. :XD: I have a lot of questions about a character I've created as far as is she coming off as a Mary sue...Is this something I would have to commission you for? The fan fic I'm writing isn't anywhere near finished yet, so there's not that much to go by as far as in that way lol. I don't know how you would prefer to learn more about the direction I'm going with her ^^; Also, I don't know if you've ever played or heard of The Evil Within, but that's the game that the story takes place in. It's completely fine if you don't have time or can't. :) Thanks!
InumiInuzuka Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Defiantly going to help.
cloverleafnine Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015
Hello! ^_^
So my character has a high IQ, but notably low EQ in which she's undeniably intelligent and lacks empathy and most fear. However, this gets her into many sticky situations. Would that be Mary-Sue?
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015   General Artist
Not necessarily! There are plenty of well-balanced characters who are similar to that. It really depends on how you treat her in the story—is she overly competent, constantly stealing the center of attention, idealized, etc?

These are questions I can't answer for you, because I haven't read your story. Try spending a while thinking about how balanced she is: which traits are useful to the plot and character, and which might be overblown? It could be all of them, none of them, or somewhere in the middle. With time and reflection, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what's best for your story. :aww:
Piddies0709 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014
Only time I'd ever give a character two different colored eyes is usually when something has happen to them in the past that effected their eye to look that way.

I have a bunch of OC's myself, but I can't honestly say whether or not they are Mary-sues. Maybe some of my older ones from the past that I thought were cool at the time probably are, but most of them end up getting scraped. Now I've got plans for my characters in the future which is why I'm still tweaking with them. I usually try to keep them interesting and well balanced, though whether I succeed at that or not is up for my viewers to decide.

Still, this is a very good guide for young writers out there. 
Do you like philosophy?
Priscellia Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have some questions..

● is it ok if a character has traits that is important for the story plot?

● is it ok if the main character gets more screen time because the story is based about her/his experience?

● is it ok if a character has many sue traits but it is important for the story plot? (Ex: a white female demon/ghost, she is quite talented and beautiful yet powerful but she is evil; she took an advantage to disguise as a human and went into the human world to kill the main protagonist. Its important to the plot so that there will be more gore and action in my story and the protagonist had to struggle to find a way to live and escape)
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015   General Artist
My answers are: probably, probably, and possibly.

I'm against the idea of taking litmus tests too seriously, because Mary Sues aren't simply a list of character traits and point totals. They're a way that an author treats a character. If the plot comes first, and the character is built to match the plot, then it's unlikely that they are a Mary Sue.

Mary Sues usually come when an author becomes too emotionally invested in a character, to the point that it affects their decision-making and harms the story. It can also happen when a writer is desperate to make the character be liked, thus going overboard, or the writer relies too much on stereotypes.

To complicate things even further, Mary Sues aren't always harmful. My brother freely admits that one of his favorite TV characters is a Mary Sue. The character is totally overpowered, and he destroys tons of stuff. However, my brother thinks he's awesome, so he loves seeing him in action. One could also make a solid argument for Harry Potter being a Mary Sue, and yet the Harry Potter series is one of the most popular series in modern history.

Based on your descriptions, it sounds like you're probably fine. Character strengths are nothing to be ashamed of, especially if they are tailored to influence the plot. It's only when you overdo it, and turn into Jodie the martial arts master or another one of the examples in my guide, that you have a reason to worry. :)
Priscellia Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you ^_^
And I was thinking that usually I'm confused decisions with the plot and the character. Because I wanted the story to be logical and not cliche. At times, the plot comes first but at times the character comes first, but usually I focus on both to make them balanced.
My idea was a girl named Erin who was turned into a half-poltergeist and half-human and she had to survive in the poltergeist city where all humans were replaced with poltergeists. Some of the humans who were turned into poltergeists lost their memory for some reason. And this includes Erin's mom, this enables a thougher life for the character, because her mother doesn't even remember her daughter. But idk if that part is neccessary, could 16 year old live alone or live at their friends house?

She tried to live alone and stay strong. She eventually met a group and tried to be friends with them. Due to her stuttering and shyness, she got teased. The worst part was when her sketchbook got stomped by two of the group members. She wanted to kill them so bad, but she didnt want to get in trouble.
Her only two friends were the only ones who understand her. She was only friends with two poltergeists so far, and get along with them.
At the end, there's will be a plot twist where Erin kills the whole members of the group after what they did to one of her best friends. Her other friend Billy joined her, and the two became the main antogonist

I'm not really sure about the plot, sometimes I change because I'm doubtful that the plot won't be cliche
LA--RANA Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I loved the way in which you were writing this! :heart:
It´s so kind! Thanks for the help i promise you that im gonna remember this! ;)
Huskeygirl3 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
With some fandoms, its okay to have dead parents because it happens all the time.

R35TART Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Everything about this is helpful and accurate except for the different appearances and such.
Sure some people go over board and have like green skin and rainbow hair but honestly it's just so boring having a character with generic hair tones and eyes all the time.
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014   General Artist
I think you might have missed a paragraph or two. :aww: In the beginning of the second section, I mention unnatural hair colors as being workable in some situations, and I talk about it more in the section "My Character Is Extra Unusual."

So in fact I would not argue against your position that unusual hair and eye colors can be okay. I'd be hypocritical if I did—two of my main characters have blue hair. :)
R35TART Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh sorry I missed that part, sorry!
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014   General Artist
No worries! :D It's a very long guide and people miss stuff all the time.
Riony-Yagameratsu Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
I really like this guide, although I still can't believe it it took me almost an hour to read it!
I didn't know what a Mary Sue was for such a long time and I heard the term everywhere I went on the internet! Thank you so much for the guide! Now I finally get it and feel smart when I share my opinion with people about her XD

divergenthp Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Another idea for getting rid of the overly skilled thing is to consider the negative traits that go along with the skill. For example, someone super smart could have problems navigating social situations.
Ladylollypop Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
So is it bad for the Oc to have a tragic past like abuse, or feel depressed?
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014   General Artist
Not at all! Plenty of successful characters have suffered through abuse or struggled with mental illness. Litmus tests tend to mention these because they can be abused, but that doesn't mean that you should be afraid of using them.

If you want to write a depressed/abused character, the important thing is that you do your research. Read things written by people who have gone through similar struggles, and come to understand and respect the condition(s). Treat it as a legitimate struggle, not an attention ploy. Learn about which tropes perpetuate negative stereotypes, and which ones promote understanding and acceptance.

The trick I use is this: as I write, I imagine that a girl with depression/PTSD/whatever will read my book. I imagine her heart racing as she reads about another person who, for once, understands everything she has gone through. For once, someone understands her troubles instead of dismissing, downplaying, or demonizing them (as is so common with mental illnesses). How will each scene in the book make her feel? When she closes the book, will she feel accepted or degraded?

Writing disabilities like PTSD and depression can be difficult if you don't experience them yourself, but with enough research, they can be done well. :) If you're up for the challenge, then go for it!
Billyblue98 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014
What if it's your main character's enemy who's pretty much perfect? Mine is near perfect. He's basically a better version of my main character. What makes him strong is there, but what makes him weak is absent. He has one major flaw, but he has a nearly always successful way of avoiding it. Is that still bad?
dragoeniex Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014
That's tricky to answer. (And I'm just a passerby who saw your question, so take with a grain of salt.) When you say the character has a single flaw that he can avoid most of the time, I'd be wary. Big bad antagonists can sometimes get away with being hyper-competent. It makes for great tension and it frustrates the protagonists.

Still, no one makes perfect decisions with their perfect planning based off their perfect character traits and view of the world. Some links in that chain are going to be weaker than others. Or at least, they should.

One of my favorite shows, Monster, had an antagonist that was built up (at least by people who knew his nature) as being perfect and remorseless. It seemed to be true. Even if they could build him up to the point of it sounding cartoonish, he lived up to the reputation when he finally made appearances. Cold, brilliant, and quietly dangerous.

But as the show got further, you got to see little flaws. The antagonist was highly self-destructive. And while he could do almost anything he set his mind to, he seemed to have problems sticking with any one thing. He changed all of his plans on a whim two or three times, often losing or getting rid of former allies along the way.

There were also a few times during the show where, if other characters had made their choices faster, he would have been killed. That made watching more interesting.

I'd say having an opponent who is a stronger version of your main character is a fantastic idea. :) It presents a unique struggle, and it definitely makes things personal for the protagonist. But if they share a couple similar flaws or have opposing flaws, it can provide a great chance for the character to study him/herself.

And hey. If your antagonist has flaws but manages to succeed in spite of them for most of the story, doesn't that make him more of a threat?
Like the antagonist in this scribblenauts fanfic? It's not a mirror of the main character, but has one major flaw that hinders one of his goals.…
I did not write this.
dragoeniex Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2014
That was a long piece to use for your question. Maybe you could summarize next time?

I read (most of) it, but I'm not sure of what comparison you want to make. As someone unfamiliar with the franchise... The obsession and carelessness could be played up as Maxwell's flaws. He's got an entitled air about him. The trick would be finding ways to show how it could prove harmful for him.

The protagonist and antagonist are both unable to be permanently killed, it seems, so it would also take extra work to make any conflict between those two feel suspenseful. 
Yes, but... okay, so maybe scribblenauts isn't the best example. But you get what I mean.
sophiecyberland Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
how do you make that blue text thing?
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014   General Artist
I used CSS! Are you familiar with it?
sophiecyberland Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014   General Artist
It's a programming language that works in tandem with HTML. I learned it primarily from W3Schools:…

Can you use journal skins on your literature? If so, then you will be able to create blue text with CSS. If not, then there's unfortunately no way to get that unless you buy a subscription.

However, if you want to make pop-up text, that doesn't require CSS or journal skins, and I could teach you how to do that right now.
sophiecyberland Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ooh, thanks for that! I don't have a skin so yeah... could you teach me, Luna-senpai? ouo
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014   General Artist
To make a tooltip, you use the code<acronym title="X">. In place of the X, you would put the text that goes inside the tooltip.

For example...
<acronym title="This is a tooltip!">Mouse over this text.</acronym>

Mouse over this text.

If you're not familiar with HTML, here's the W3Schools intro page on it:… It's really useful!

To save this comment in your inbox, you can follow this tutorial before replying. :)
sophiecyberland Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't think I've understand, but I'll try again and again! ouo
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014   General Artist
HTML is difficult to understand at first, but after a while you get the hang of it. :aww: I hope to post a tutorial in a few days that might explain it better, if you're interested.
(1 Reply)
SailorWITCHandWinx Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Student
I loved reading this article - it really helped me with my characters! :)
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014   General Artist
Awesome! :D I'm glad I could be of service.
IluvWinxandRandyCunn Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
And this is why all the other Winx are not concidered mary sues.I mean Tecna and Roxy have pink hair and Roxy has purple eyes!Also, if prodigies were concidered Mary sues/ Gary stus, Berto and Dredd from Max Steel would be ones.
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014   General Artist
Indeed. :aww: If a character is typical for someone in that universe, (s)he most likely isn't a Mary Sue.
IluvWinxandRandyCunn Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
KelDoge Featured By Owner Edited Jul 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for creating this! i am in the process of writing a book and this has actually helped me catch a Mary Sue in the cast. God(or whatever you believe in) bless your soul.
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014   General Artist
You're welcome, and thanks for the blessing! :) I'm glad I can help fellow writers.
indiozork Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Really great read! Some time ago I created a character who was all about being a 'Jack of All Trades', though, as the saying goes, he was a master of none. He could do most things, yeah, but only decently, sometimes even barely passable.

I still thought that maybe that was STILL too much, however, and began to write around that. Since I had a set mind of what his actions were going to be like and what not, I managed to add traits to him that still keeps the façade of Jack of All Trades, but that makes the character actually interesting, without being able to do everything. (And have actual negative traits, more than often developing his character).

I was treading dangerously close to Mary Sue territory there.

I think a good way to see if your character is a Mary Sue (or to fix it) is to create a clone of your character, and make him/her into a 'villain' (since your hero Mary Sue needs to beat the villain). You'll probably see if your character is a Mary Sue in that comparison, and by making him into a villain, you'll probably find traits applicable to the character itself, that make him/her less of a Mary Sue.
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014   General Artist
Interesting idea! :) I'm glad to hear you put so much thought and development into your character; it sounds like he turned out well in the end!
ButterflyEmpress Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014  Student General Artist
I'm confused about Mary-Sue character traits. I always hear that they shouldn't have colorful hair/eyes. I have a story in which i takes place in a different world and its normal for the humans there to have hair/eye colors such as red, green, pink, etc. Would that automatically make all my characters Mary-Sues/Gary Stus? 
MissLunaRose Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014   General Artist
No, that wouldn't make them Mary Sues! Usually it's only an area of concern if the character looks strange relative to other characters in the world. And even then, they may not be a Mary Sue. The true mark of a Mary Sue is whether or not they are favored in the story, and if they are pushed into being a superlative (the perfect girl, the sexy murderer) without any room for realism or growth.
AnonymousONIagent Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
As a general rule, if something is normal for the group/race/setting/etc, then it doesn't count as being Sue-ish. For example, if a Star Wars OC who is a Jedi Knight has telekinetic powers, you wouldn't consider that to be Sue-ish because Jedi normally have telekinetic powers. But if I had a Stormtrooper character who had telekinetic powers (without giving a believable explanation for it), that could be considered Sue-ish because Stormtroopers don't normally have that ability. So basically, it generally only counts as being Sue-ish if it's unusual for whatever type of character you are writing.

That said, it's important to remember that there is no concrete way to tell whether or not a character is a Mary Sue, unless they are stated to be perfect in every way (characters who are totally perfect are always Mary Sues). Outside of that, it's often hard to objectively determine whether or not your character is a Mary Sue, because sometimes traits that tend to make characters Mary Sues can be used without making a character a Mary Sue, and sometimes traits that aren't usually seen in Mary Sues can be present in characters who are Mary Sues.

The best way to determine whether or not your character is a Mary Sue is by looking at what other people think of them; this is why constructive criticism is very important for inexperienced writers. If people don't seem to like your character, more often than not there is a reason why and you should take steps to find out what is wrong and try to fix it. If there is an issue with your character, whether it be that your character is a Mary Sue or otherwise, don't get discouraged, and don't let people make you feel bad because of it. But at the same time, don't ignore the problem and keep on doing what you're doing. Mistakes are nothing to be ashamed of; everyone makes them, and they are an important part of the learning process. Writing isn't an exact science, and often requires a bit of trial and error before you're able to get something right.
ButterflyEmpress Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks for clearing that up!Airborne 
Relic-Angel Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I had a few laughs while skimming through this character-improving guide of yours.

Visualizing my OC now in my head, I'm very happy and relieved that I did NOT make her an extension of me. At all. Why would anyone put themselves (with alterations) in a story?
LPScat334 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014
The sad thing is is that I have an oc that looks like this...
But she doesn't have the traits. Would she still be classified as a Mary Sue if she only has mixed hair and eyes, but not traits that are all positive? Sorry if it's in the guide and I overlooked it.
AnonymousONIagent Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
That depends. Do you spend a lot of time describing her appearance when you write about her? More time than other characters? Does she attention simply because of the way she looks? More attention than other characters?
LPScat334 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014
I don't think so. She's one of my favorite ocs, but I still take a lot of time to write backstories for my other characters. She's not my main character, either. She blends in well with my ocs, they got unnatural hair colors also. It just kind of worried me to see her look like a character made to be a mary sue. 
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